....*red face*

I saw this thing in the paper today, where it said: "Train delayed because of delays".

Made me laugh, and also gave me an idea for an excuse.

Hrm... So!


Sorry about the delay... I was delayed. And stuff.

----

Genius.

----

I've been spending a lot of time reading lately, and even so I'm behind on my challenge.
Of course, it might have something to do with the fact that I've been sleeping on the couch for the last couple of nights... When you fall asleep on couches it's not because you're reading.... It's because you're watching The Bourne Trilogy. For the 3643644th time.

Bourne flaws:

  1. The third movie is ridiculous violence-wise. He spends so much time crashing into other cars or driving off of roofs.. But he never really gets hurt. In the first two movies, he at least gets injuries.
  2. It ended.

And why? Sure, the author died before he could write book number four, but another, less talented, author picked up where he left off! Let's use his books and twist them into something watchable! I want more of Matt Damon Kicking Major Ass.

I of course heard they were making a fourth movie. But that was like 3 years ago! Where is it, people? WHERE?

..............




Superheroes in real life.

Ok... so, somehow, seeing Spiderman running around on photos in real life looks ridiculous.
Having actual superheroes wouldn't work off screen.









 

http://www.onlocationvacations.com/2011/01/18/exclusive-fan-photo-of-spider-man-on-the-set-of-the-spider-man-reboot-in-l-a/

 

http://www.tmz.com/videos?autoplay=true&mediaKey=2094fb71-f89b-41af-88fb-4f35a54cc47f

 


Liars and Look-alikes

Just saw:


 

Wow, this movie is nothing like what I thought it would be.

It's not a smart romantic comedy. It's a sad realistic romantic drama/comedy about illness and shortcomings.

 

Could trailers and movie posters just stop lying to me?

 

I loved the movie, but I wasn't prepared!!

 

..Ok, I have one problem with this movie.

The soundtrack sucks.


Imagine a sad/amazing ending scene with "I love you I want you I need you" and background music that goes "mmmhmmmhmmmmm" from a dull, dark female voice. Talk about a ruined mood!

 

---

 

Have I ever told you about the Jake Gyllenhaal look-alike that lives in my town?

 

No?

 

He gained a few pounds and stopped sleeping, and now he looks more like.... himself, I guess, than Jake. I was thinking that maybe that's what he was after. Maybe he was sick of being compared to someone else.

 

...Or maybe he just loves McDonalds and WoW.

 

Either way, I'm disappointed.

 

Eye candy is like medicine for the soul. Or maybe I mean: Jake Gyllenhaal is like medicine for the soul.


In which I don't even mention the pictures.

 

 

 

--------

 

I saw a movie today called Boy A.

 

It's about a guy who made a mistake when he was younger and got involved in the murder of a little girl. Because of that he got sent to jail for a very long time.

 

When he gets released, he's able to start over. He's given a new name, a new job, a new place to live, and no one knows who he is or what he's done.

But when he falls in love he feels like he has to share his secret, or else he'll be living a lie.

 

It was an eye opener, if anything. I really enjoyed it, and once again I feel like I know nothing of the world. *laughs* That's when you know a movie is good, when it makes you feel puny and unknowing.

 

People keep hatred within themselves for a really long time, and because of that they're blinded against reality and right vs. wrong. I mean, people make mistakes, and suddenly they're not worth as much as everyone else? That doesn't make sense, seeing as everyone makes mistakes.

 

Anyway, if you want to see a good movie, check out Boy A.

The main character is played by the same bloke who plays Peter Parker in the new Spider-Man movies.

Just so you know.

He's pretty damn good.

 

Toby will always be my favourite though. Sorry Andrew.

 

 


:: Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows part 1 ::

.........

 

.......

 

I shit you not, I almost attacked someone today.

Now, because I'm a typical swede, I didn't have the guts to turn around and say: SHUT THE FUDGE UP YOU WANKERS! (well, we were watching Harry Potter, non?)

Instead I tried my glare of death, telepathically sending them a message that said: I will kill you in your sleep.


But apparently, they took it as: Please, keep on talking. I find your uneducated and pitiful views on this film entertaining.


Must've been some kind of translation error.

 

The movie in itself was, as I said in the video, good. I really liked it. My friend seemed to think that it was a bit too long, and though I agree with her to some degree, I didn't exactly mind that it wasn't shorter.

I mean, the Harry Potter films are always visually stunning, therefore even if the plot is kind of dragging itself along for a bit, you've still got amazing effects to look at.

No, I didn't love the last HP book, but that doesn't mean that I didn't like it. I did. The Harry Potter books will always be my absolute favourites, no matter what I read in the future, because of its sentimental value and because of how ingenious the entire product is.

 

Money well spent!

I'm really excited for the next and final movie. (although, it's... sad isn't it?)

 

.....

 

Thank the Gods the movie was good, because before it started I was already doubting the future of mankind.. what with the morons next to me driving me absolutely mental, and the trailer for Red Riding Hood playing in front of me like a premonition of doom.

 


Disney ist besser. Smut or no smut.

I'm kind of a bums-people-out kind of person now a days. And not because of other people's misery, but because of my own, which makes it annoying and therefore uninteresting. To myself and others.

Something I could talk about today is my sudden re-appreciation of old Disney flicks.
Of course, when I say "old", I mean pre-2000's. I watched The Little Mermaid the other day, and then I watched Mulan, which has to be one of the best movies ever.
One thing that kind of disappointed me, as an adult watching movies I liked as a kid, was how short they are. They never have time to truly develop any kind of emotional bond between the characters, because they barely have time to fit a plot into their timeline.
Mulan is great either way, but The Little Mermaid definitely came up short. How am I supposed to root for that couple? o.o It's so superficial it makes me cringe.

Movies aren't supposed to show the reality of most relationships, especially not Disney movies!
Disney makes fairytales! Fairytales exist to make us feel good about ourselves, by smushing in (I make up words cuz I'm awesome) friendly messages, like: love is about what's on the inside, not about how pretty you and your voice are.

I did say that Mulan is awesome, right? But when I said that I didn't mean the live action movie from 2009, called Hua Mulan. That movies sucks. Stay clear!

By looking at the cover of the DVD you may think it looks interesting. But then you watch it.. and it sucks.
That was my short-short review of Hua Mulan.


 



MaxieMagyx and Charlie St. Cloud.


 

I haven't been updating this blog that much lately. So sorry.

 

Although, to be fair, I've already done three videos for my personal channel, and that must count for something.

Yes, MaxieMagyx the youtube channel is up and running. It's been fun so far, but I'm looking forward to learning more and becoming a better vlogger.

Thanks to everyone who subscribed just because I said so. That's true dedication... or charity. Either way, thank you so much x'D

 

I saw a movie called Charlie St. Cloud yesterday, so I thought I could give you a mini review right here.

 

 

 


First of all, it's not at all what you think it is.

At least if you're unfamiliar with the book. Like I am.


If you've seen the trailer, you know that it's about a boy, Charlie, who loses his little brother and starts seeing him as a ghost (a.k.a: turns mental). He then meets a girl who used to be in his class, and falls for her. She's planning on traveling the world, he once had similar plans and would love to come with her... but he's stuck in his hometown because he can't leave his brother.

 

So in our minds we figured this movie would go a little bit like this ---> girl teaches him that it's ok to move on, the love between them flourishes, the little brother feels hurt, but finally Charlie says goodbye and tells his little brother to go towards the light, so that he can travel the world with his girlfriend.

 

Right?

 

But somewhere in the middle, the movie slaps us right across the face and changes the direction of the plot completely! If you've seen Remember Me with Robert Pattinson, you kind of know what kind of douchebaggery I'm talking about. (in that movie the twist was at the very end though, which is even worse)

 

With this movie though, I'm not sure whether or not it worked.

 

I mean, it wasn't half bad, and maybe if it had ended the way I had predicted, it wouldn't have made an impression on me at all.

It was a bit religious. But at least it didn't make me cringe, like Seventh Heaven. It wasn't forcing it on you. It was just the theme of the movie. A movie about someone's little brother dying kind of has to be religious, or it turns into a Steven Seagal movie.

 

I don't care if you like or dislike Zac Efron. He's a good actor, and it shows in this movie. The actor who plays the little brother should probably take a few acting lessons though. (I'm not gonna be mean, he's a little kid after all. But then again, so is Dakota Fanning)

 

Would I recommend it? Sure. But don't expect a master piece... And don't watch the trailer!! It will just make you excited for a movie that doesn't exist.

 

3/5

 

Maybe I should read the book. It's called The Death and Life of Charlie st. Cloud.

Sure, I already know how it's going to end, but things always make more sense in books because they have more time explaining them.

 


Short story.


I just realized that I have Sudden Death, with Van Damme, which made me happy enough to go:

"Woo! Wooo! WOOOO!"



And now I can't stop laughing, because of how retarded that was.

JCVD - Nowhere to Run #Commentary.

I'm currently watching Nowhere to Run, with Jean-Claude Van Damme.
It just started.
I haven't seen this one before.

The first thing I have to say is: pervert alert!
What kind of hero walks up to some stranger's house and watches them take a shower? And then breaks in?
He stole something, I'm sure.
10 minutes in and I'm already not liking his character. (although I'm sure he'll save the day and everyone'll love him in the end... no one will know he's a friggin perv)

Apparently he was sent to jail for something he didn't do.
I'm thinking he should've been sent to jail for something else.
Like... perviness.

(10 minutes later)

He's going back to the house!!
What is wrong with this guy? He just randomly walked by, and now he's obsessed with this decent looking stranger.
And he broke in again?
Oh.. my god.
Is this a horror film? Is he going to slaughter the family?
He's a horrible stalker. Keeps on knocking everything over. And the son thinks he's E.T. (which makes me laugh, cuz it's the kid from Signs.)


"You like boobs?"

"Sometimes"


F**king Shakespeare-stuff, this.


------

Oh, now he's naked.

I see a muscled butt.
And the little sister saw the other side.

Wow. People should stay away from this guy.


------

Here we go. I sense the first fight scene is about to start.
And yes. I was right. Who's the better fighter? Jean-Claude or ... Jet Li?
I say mr. Muscles from Brussels.
Although, he's not great here. No martial arts? WHAT THE HECK, people who made this movie!!?
I want high kicks and unnecessary jumps!!


--------


"Who ARE you?"

"I'm the guy who peeps at you when you shower."



Ok, he didn't say that. He should've. Now she likes him. Foolish woman.


--------

Shower scene. She's seen his schlong. Now she's screwed. No going back now.

And now they're talking about his genitals at the dinner table.
If my daughter said: "He's got a big penis", I would've been a little bit alarmed. Like, why has my daughter seen his penis? But this lady seems to be cool with it.

How come Jean-Claude was naked so much in all his movies?

Was that a part of his contract?


...I don't mind, I'm just sayin'.


(15 minutes later)


Ok, so he just saved the neighbours' lives, and is walking through the fire to get back to the weirdo family. I love how they look at him, like: wooooow! OoO

I wonder if the director told them to treat him like a God.
"Talk about his genitals and muscles in a generous way.. and uhm.. when you look at him, make sure to look like you're in awe.. Drooling is ok. But don't touch him. Not yet."
We all know he's not a dick though. Cuz we've seen JCVD, the movie.
Oscar worthy, if you ask me.


I hate how families in movies always have videos of everything, and how f-ing perfect they try to make it look.
They're skipping through a green park, holding hands, laughing at some joke about cheese. Maybe a dog comes along, and the kid is like: Dad, can we keep him?
Of course! Cuz this is the picture perfect life we used to have before everything turned to shit, son!


------

"Strike three! You're out!"
Cuz he hit him with a wooden stick.
Creative.

------


Mookie? The son is called Mookie?


...Really?


(I love when men speak french. Which is completely random, because he doesn't even speak french in this film. Btw, don't you just love that his parents in Universal Soldier don't have an accent? Like, we could hire actors with french accents... but... nah. Too much work. Brilliant)


Right, so, the movie's almost over.
---Woah, he just jumped from the ground up on his bike in slow motion. Wtf was that?
One bad guy down, two to go. Too bad they're all old and boring.
Where's the challenge, man?
"I saved you from these old guys with beer guts. Aren't I amazing?"
Times like these, I miss Dolph.

Oh, the old guy hurt the kid. Now he's going down.

And down he went.



"Au revoir... F**ker"

He actually said that.


.....


Hot.




The End.


 

3/5!

Long live 90's action movies!

Scary Movies Rant #Halloween

Dude(tte)s, let's talk Scary Movies. Because, I don't know if you've noticed, but this is the last week of October! Which means.... ?
Halloween
. This weekend. Great. Awesome.

....

Except no.

I'll be all alone this Halloween.

I feel like one of those whiny biyotches in romantic comedies who spend Valentine's Day alone, and cry about it.
I won't cry though. Cuz you just don't do that on Halloween.
Little pumpkin boy won't allow it.


 

 

Yeah. Him. I believe his name is Sam. --(which makes me think of my story. Because the mc's little brother's name is Sam, so I've been writing it over and over again. It's a good name. I love that name. Sam. Sammy. If I ever do join society and give birth to a baby boy, I want him to have a name like that. Sam.)--

 

Who watched Trick 'r Treat and got scared of Sam? I'm guessing----- no one!

Sam is adorable! I squealed like a little fangirl every time I saw him and his cute little pajamas.


I want pajamas like those btw. With the little opening over the derrière.

Cute overload.

 

-----

 

Anyway, back to what I was gonna say---->

I've been googling (oogley boogley) "best scary movies for Halloween", trying to find a horror film that I haven't seen yet.

Now, when you google something like that, you always get about 1000 hits that say: 50 scariest movies!!.... 10 movie tips for Halloween!!... something like that.

The problem is, none of these lists are accurate, because of the douchiness of most movie experts.

 

You see, movie experts aren't allowed to like new and purrdy movies. They have to list the oldest, most outdated movies they can find, so that they're considered cool and smart and... "sophisticated".

 

Now, don't get me wrong. I'm not being mean to all old movies. The Exorcist is pretty nasty. (although not scary)

But when you start listing movies like IT and The Poltergeist, you're just being a conformative jerk.

Everyone mentions The Poltergeist when talking about scary movies, because it's supposed to be this cult/classic/awesome film. But how many from my generation have actually seen it? Probably not that many.


I saw it. I passed out, it was so ridiculously boring.

 

When I google scary movies, I want to read about movies that are actually scary. I want to be scared shitless. Ok? IT isn't scary. Floating balloons aren't scary. Badly made CGI spiders aren't scary.

 

Maybe these movies were scary when they first came out. But this is 2010. And lists from 2010 that promise to give you ideas for Halloween, shouldn't be exact copies of lists written in 1988!

 

Am I right, people?

I know I am.

 

----

 

I like Catcher in the Rye, so I'm gonna stop you right now, and say: --Not all people who say they like some classic books or movies are lying a-holes... But a lot of them are--

 

If you wanna make sure, ask the following question: "Oh rly? Why do you like it so much?"


If they answer: "because.. well.. it's a classic!" Then you know you're talking to a phony. (Holden reference? Whaddup!)

 


Dexter wouldn't fit in with the cast of Grown Ups... Let's just say that.


Of course, the season premiere of Dexter was amazing.
I can already tell, this particular season is going to break my heart.

 

--------

 

Tonight I saw Grown Ups, with Adam Sandler, Kevin James... Rob Schneider... Chris Rock... A bunch of other people... It's a great movie.

Not just because it's funny, but because it makes you smile.

Get the difference?
It's a feel-good movie on a whole other level.

 

There are no real conflicts, nor is there a particular curve to it. It's just fun and relaxed.

I loved it.

 

That friggin' Vampires Suck, though?

Not seeing that.

Update on what's important...


This amazing person made a complete picture of what Mika looked like in the movie.

(Obviously super talented)

Look at those shoes!


 

 


Resident Evil: Afterlife 3D... Finally!


I just got back from seeing Resident Evil: Afterlife 3D.

And... before I start rambling on and on about the storyline, 3D effects and such... I would just like to say that Resident Evil has officially moved on from the zombie genre. Afterlife is an action movie featuring some zombies.
Personally, I have nothing against that.
I'm just saying that because I know a lot of people who like Resident Evil are zombie fans.


"Wait, is this the Matrix?"



Now, let's hate on 3D.

Yeah, that's right.
F*** 3D.

This was the first movie I'd ever seen in 3D, so my expectations were kinda high to begin with. But damn it, was I disappointed.
Instead of thinking: wow, this is cool... and totally worth the money. I kept thinking: omg, these glasses are annoying, and I can't lie down, because then the rims will be in the way... oh god, the screen gets blurry all the time when the camera pans a little to quickly... my eyes... jesus, was that it? In the commercials people keep ducking and shiz... Talk about being overrated...
The coolest 3D effect was the title text.
It was like the text was in the room.
I liked that.

The rest sucked though.

Now, to be fair, it might be our theater. This is a small town, and even though we were in the biggest room, the screen still isn't that big. Maybe the technique is too good for whatever equipment we have.
I really don't know.
But I didn't like it.

Will I see another 3D film?
Maybe in 10 years...
If it's still around.

Or whenever they get rid of those stupid glasses.

NOW! The movie on the other hand was pretty good.
Alice.. Or, Milla, is the greatest female action hero alive at the moment. Some people like Angelina, I do too, but she's got nothing on this ukrainian super lady.
The storyline wasn't great... Actually it probably had the most boring storyline out of all the R.E movies. But the action was great!
I'm a sucker for nice action sequences, and this movie was packed with 'em.

There's a giant zombie/monster/thing with a hammer/axe in this one... They never explain where the hell he came from, but he's pretty cool.
He reminded me of Pyramid Head from Silent Hill. And he was probably the most frightening thing in the entire movie.


Seriously, where the hell did this guy come from??



Last comment: Mika Nakashima was in this movie.
I didn't know she was gonna be in it!!
Why didn't anyone tell me??

She's awesome.

And damn, she had some nice shoes.

Lookin' good Mika.... Lookin' good.

She should've worn those cool sparkly shoes to the premiere instead...

I have no idea what those cord things are supposed to be..



Update on the WAR!


When the first Twilight movie had it's premiere, the theater in my city didn't even know what it was. I checked the website and didn't see it anywhere.....
So I started the first war.

And I won, god damn it.

Looking back now, I realize I was fighting for an odd cause.

(extra: A guy at work with yellow hair.... let's call him yellow man.... said that he'd been looking forward to seeing Eclipse, and that it was, and I quote: "Awesome".. I'm still laughing. He deserves it.)


This time it's all about Resident Evil: Afterlife.
If you want to join the cause,
write an email to svenne@biostadenosd.se, telling him he's a fool (a fool I say!!) for not showing R.E in his theater.


You want this? YOU WANT THIS?

Then, give us Resident Evil.

It's easy.

 


My thoughts on Inception (the second time around) *cough*

So I woke up this morning.... sick to my stomach... coughing like a crazy smoking homeless person...
And today is the day of the job interview.

Just how lucky am I?

I'm still in my pyjamas, because when I stand up I feel dizzy.

If the universe cuts me some slack, I might be able to get through the interview without passing out. (and this time, I'm not talking about being nervous)

*cough*

Yesterday turned out to be ... kinda weird. And it wasn't Inception's fault.
I spent two hours trying to put in my lenses, but since I'm not used to putting foreign things in my eyes, I just ended up poking myself over and over and over again.

What is the secret?
How do lens-people do that everyday?

Anyway, since I can't quite stand up yet, and I'm not making much sense with whatever it is I'm talking about.. I guess I can go ahead and tell you about my second viewing of Inception.

 

OK!

Look, I don't even know if what I'm about to say will make sense. My brain is already similar to scrambled eggs.. But this is what I think:

 

Everything is a dream after Cobb gets sedated in that weird underground place surrounded by lots and lots of sad old men.

Some things point to everything being a dream (like the fact that Cobb's borrowed totem is actually completely worthless), but the scene where he speaks to his children on the phone makes me think that he was in fact in reality during the first half. Remember, the actors who play his kids in that scene are different from the actors who play his children in his memories. He doesn't even recognize their voices.

 

But anyway, what makes me think that everything is a dream after the sedation scene?

Well, it's after that scene that everything stops making sense. You notice small faults in logic. ("It's only when we wake up that we realize something was actually strange")

Like the fact that Fischer didn't recognize Saito. They saw each other on the plane, in the car and on the second and third levels of the dream. Both Saito and Fischer are two MAJOR businessmen in the US. They're obviously rivals too. Saito is rich enough to buy an entire airline on a whim, and important enough to be able to rid Cobb of his criminal record. And Fischer is the son of a man so powerful that his company could possibly take over the world. Why doesn't Fischer recognize Saito?

I suppose Fischer could've been clueless about all that stuff. I seriously doubt it though, seeing as he always tried to be like his father.

The uncle met Saito as well, and didn't recognize him at all. But that was only Fischer's projection of his uncle.. So I guess that makes sense, but it also strengthens the fact that Fischer has no idea who Saito is.

 

The kicks stop making sense as well. The kicks are supposed to take place in the level below the one the person in quesion is currently on. But when Cobb reaches limbo, Ariadne jumps off a building, which doesn't make sense. That would only kill her in limbo.. (although, according to Cobb, taking your life in limbo gets you back to reality.. which kind of defeats the purpose of fearing limbo. All Saito has to do once he's there is take his own life... apparently!)

 

No new information is revealed about the case or about any of the characters (except Cobb) after the sedation scene. The only new characters are Fischer, his uncle and father. These are new characters that no one has seen before. Cobb's mind could've made them up, or taken them from a memory. They aren't especially deep characters. Actually, the only thing that defines Fischer's character is his weird relationship to his father, which is an idea that Cobb got from Eames before the sedation scene.

 

And if you think about it, no matter what happens in the movie; ultimately it's all about Cobb and his family. In every single level there is a reminder of his past. Either it's the train, the broken glass, the children or Mal.

This makes me think it's always Cobb's dream. No one elses.

 

... The ending scene is obviously a dream. Not because the top keeps spinning.. But because the children haven't grown a bit. Their grandfather is suddenly back from France without reason.. and the woman who took care of the children, (was it their grandma?) she's gone.. like magic.


The top spinning doesn't mean a thing. Even if it stops spinning, it doesn't mean a thing.

That totem wasn't Cobb's to begin with. It was Mal's.

Cobb was the one who gave her the idea that: if it keeps spinning you're in a dream.

If that top stopped spinning, that just meant that Cobb didn't care anymore. He gave up trying to figure out what was real and what wasn't. He chose that level of dreaming (whichever level it was, it certainly wasn't limbo) as reality.

 

.... Now.... I have to stop thinking about this.

And I have to get ready.

 

*cough*


--before-- Inception

It's time for me to find my shoes and step out the door.
Yes. It's movie time.

I've heard a lot about Inception. For example: that it's very complicated.
What a blow to my ego if I step out of the theater thinking: I didn't understand any of that.
But even if that happens, and someone asks me what I thought about it,
I'll say something like: I thought it had a very interesting underlying message about how religion can destroy empires, but also build them. (/random)
And when they look at me like I should be in a mental institution,
I'll say: I've heard that this movie is very different for everyone, depending on how you perceive it.... Shut up.


Some dog is dying outside my window.

*goes to check*

No.

----------

Well. I guess it's time to go.
Have a nice evening.


Lol. The hair!


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