Soundtrack:





Today was the type of day where your dad comes through the door, panting, telling you how hot it is outside, and how you have to go feel it. Your mom is on the porch, sunbathing.. And you can't stop laughing because the light is in your eyes, making it impossible to see where you're going.

But you keep walking, because you just have to experience this.

It hasn't been this sunny in a long long time.

I walked to the store, and the pavement was peeking through the snow.
No ice. Not today.

Guess what, Rebecca? My friday fudgin' sucked.
There was no kickin' in no front seat, and there was no fun, fun, fun.

I woke up and thought the weather looked nice, so I said: I'mma go out for a walk today.
It is friday after all. Gotta get down. (I seriously have to get that song out of my head now. I even dreamt about it last night)

So I went outside, and.... it started snowing.
Not that regular kind of: "oh, it's snowing.. how pretty" kind of snowing. But that wet kind of: "oh, shit... it's snowing in my face" kind of snowing.

How come the wind blows in your face no matter what direction you're going in? How is that possible?

Anyway, I think this old lady wanted to give me a candy bar, because with my sniffling and my runny mascara, I probably looked like someone who just got dumped.

I'm gonna make a nice chicken pie now.
It's become an obsession.
A delicious obsession.

I'll be the pie master of the world one day.

 

 

 

 

Yep. It's Pi Day.

 

Today's dinner:

 

 

I need something cheerful to happen. Like right NAOW!

I've spent my weekend in bed or on the living room couch, moaning and shouting. (oh, it sounds so wrong, but trust me, I totally mean the worst kind of moaning and shouting)

It all started on the day gramps died (yeah, already this story is hilarious). Sometime after dinner, I got the worst kind of stomachache in the world. The kind that doesn't go away. I couldn't concentrate on anything, because of THE PAIN, so I went to bed.

....But of course, how the hell are you supposed to fall asleep when it feels like an angry fairy is gnawing on your insides?
I tossed and turned all night, until I was unable to move.
Then... I got sick.

Around 8 a.m the next morning I ran into the bathroom and threw up. Very nasty business. What's even nastier is that when I looked down, I saw red. (For those that needs this spelled out: red = blood) "Hm, that's not normal..." I thought.

And no, it's not.

This is when all the moaning and shouting starts. I buried myself in five or six blankets, trying not to cry. My mom, being the work-a-holic nurse she is, checked my pulse, asked me to move my legs this and that way, put pressure on different parts of my tummy, asking with that soothing and yet alien voice: "does that hurt? does that hurt?" (No capital letters.)
Finally, she said: "The place where it hurts the most for you... that's where you appendix is. It might be an infection."

That day was a living hell, is what I'm trying to say.

But, today, two days later, I am fine.
And I know what the problem was now.


.....It was a case of PMS, my friends.


Not even kidding.


Now, this is definite proof that women drew the short straw somewhere in the beginning of evolution.

Well, here we are. We can't escape it.
It's 6 hours left 'til midnight.

This is the perfect time for reminiscing.

Best of 2010!

• Joining WeReadBooks
• Good Grades
• Graduation
• Dancing on top of truck/seeing classmate pee on truck
• George Clooney shooting a movie in my town
• Red hair
• Mortal Instruments
• Iron Man 2
• Starting my own channel
• Discovering honey with anis
• Discovering the joy of making pie

Worst of 2010!

• Senior Project Fail
• Not getting into college/university (whatever you want to call it)
• Unemployment
• Poverty
• General Depression
• Telemarketing
• Hair loss
• My town not credited in George Clooney's movie
• Drinking sewage water (=poop water)
• Getting sick because of sewage water
• Black hair
• First 3D experience
• Twilight craze continues

Wow.
This year was AWESOME!

Seriously, though, this year was awesome.


Happy New Year Everyone!


Go nuts!

 

Today's the kind of day where.. my nail polish looks like crap. I can't bring myself to put on a bra, my hair is messy, and all I really have to do to fix it is find a brush, but I can't form thoughts for long enough to figure out where we keep the damn hair brushes.
It's a miracle that I'm writing this right now.


It's Christmas Eve in two friggin days, and I don't know what to do with that information.
Like, why does that have to effect my life today?
It's like someone telling you you're gonna die in a week. That sucks. Now they've ruined your week for sure.
Oh, and I'm not comparing Christmas to the tragic act of dying. I actually love Christmas. I'm just comparing the pressure of Christmas and how it's gonna be "the best day ever" to a very painful death--- perhaps in traffic.. or in front of a harvester.


What was I gonna say?


Oh. I decorated our Christmas tree yesterday, together with my brother... And of course, I had to film all of it. So then I asked myself: do I upload this? If not for the people that don't give a shiz about our tree, what about doing it for my christmas-spirit-less sister in Australia?
I'm sure she'd love to watch us pointing and sighing.... in super speed... and in complete darkness.


I don't know.


I should go poke my belly button.
That sounds important enough.

So I finally got off my arse to go borrow The Great Hunt at the library. To all you folks who don't know: it's the sequel to The Eye of the World by Robert Jordan.
I can't read it yet though, because I'm not done with Nightlife.

And ----> Nightlife is still awesome.

I want to read Crank by Ellen Hopkins.
I just got that sudden feeling, where you go: I have to read it now, IhavetoIhavetoIhaveto.
Of course, we don't have it in this town....
So I'll have to wait until I can afford to buy it.
THE QUESTION IS: will I want it then?

Tricky.

---------

My father has a huge friggin bookcase filled with books I've never heard of, OR(!!!) heard of, but only in swedish/english class.
Every christmas that bookcase has to be cleaned.... And no one wants to do it.

Obviously, since I'm the only child in the family who still cares about Christmas, I had to take on the bookcase today.
It took me 3 hours. But I did it.
I can't feel my limbs.

For some reason though, I've started to appreciate that gigantor monster of a bookcase. I even found myself thinking: "oh, I should read this book" on several occasions.
I don't want to tell my father this, though, because I have a feeling he'll break out in song and shout: I GOT YOU NOW!! (which isn't the most reasonable thought to have, I admit)


Anyway, the house is being cleaned, as I meant to say to begin with. Tomorrow we'll bring in the christmas box, (and with it: my personal little plastic christmas tree) the christmas carpets and finally.... The newly bought real, awesome Christmas Tree.

We're very early this year.
We usually don't get the tree in until the day before christmas.


SUCCESS!


Thank you to Robert Pattinson for helping me with the background music.
I can't clean anything without music.

 

....

My father has this weird way of smiling at me whenever he peaks in to say goodnight.
It's like he thinks we share some kind of inside joke about something, but truthfully, I have no idea what that could be.

---

Anyway, since the last time I wrote, a lot of stuff has happened.
Well, actually, not really. But I did turn 19.

I'm not going to spend 30 minutes describing the anniversary of my birth, because in all honesty: it sucked.
But I will share a particular story that had me confused.

You see, my grandmother told me to buy her some stuff to make a cake. I said ok, because I was headed to the store anyway. When I got to her, though, she said that I should take the stuff with me and make the cake myself. I don't remember her reason for saying this, something about not having everything she needed. So I took it with me, and made the cake myself.

Now, the situation is already weird. Because I don't like cake. I didn't want cake. I hadn't planned on making cake. The person who wanted the cake to begin with didn't even get to eat the damn cake.. And it was my birthday for crying out loud!

But here's the recipe:

Warm up some marshmallows to make the first layer. Then pour on lots of toffee sauce on that same layer.
For the second layer - use strawberry jam.
The top should be covered with whipped chream, more toffee sauce and some extra non-heated marshmallows. (Just to make it extra deadly)

There you have it. The laziest cake ever made.

Then I sat down, ate some of it, felt sick, read a book and wallowed in my solace til' mom and dad returned from their sunny vacation.

Happy friggin birthday to me.

To be fair, I'm old now.
I didn't expect much.

-------

No, but seriously...


Thanks to everyone who wished me a happy birthday.
And thanks to everyone who were kind and generous and awesome enough to give me gifts, even though I'm old. I love you all very, very, very much.



Now, I should really get back to writing.
This one kid has written 17000 words in 6 days.
Jesus.
(Some people are already done. Double Jesus.)

Today was .. well, I won't say "eventful". Sounds dumb. How about "fun"?

I met up with people I haven't seen in a long time. We talked about how we'd already failed at life, not even 6 months into the game. Then we talked about how well everyone else's lives seemed to be going. Then we moaned about how miserable we felt.

Add a good movie and a puppy, and you've just about summed up my entire day.

Except, I got up at eight to go get my hair cut. Gosh, that felt nice.
I wonder how people with dreads feel when they cut 'em all off. That must feel like paradise blowing magic air on your head constantly. At least during the summer. During the winter, I just don't know. Maybe the opposite.

What bothered me about my hair cutting session was this, though: She cut it dry.
You know what I mean?

When a hair dresser tells you she's not going to wash your hair, because it's already clean, you know you're not getting a real hair cut. She's just going to trim the style you already have.
And if I'm just getting a shorter version of what I had before, why bother?
I could've cut it myself, dang it.

Although, I do love how she skillfully erased all my split ends.
I feel free.
I feel healthy.
I feel like I need to dye my hair.


Maria? You there?
Wanna help?


Now, let's talk about NaNoWriMo.

I spent many, many hours writing something I could barely read yesterday. And then I told myself: DON'T EDIT IT! And then I edited it.
I'm not made for this competition, that's for sure.
But I want to win. That's why I signed up for it without thinking it through first.


Want to know what my story is about? Maybe I'll tell you........ when I know the answer.

Today is a good day.

Not because I don't have to go to work. And definitely not because a puppy came to visit (because all he's done so far is chew my hand raw and pee on the carpet)--- but because I feel like I've gotten a lot of stuff done, and because I feel like I can get a lot more stuff done if I want.

Isn't that normal? You ask.

No. It's not.

Usually, I feel like I'm wasting time doing things that I shouldn't be doing whilst other important things are waiting to be done. Even when I'm at work. No, especially when I'm at work. It's not a logical feeling.
It's me feeling anxious over not making a trillion dollars and.. having a mansion in Cabo, and vacationing in Tokyo and Florence..

Do I want all those things? ......No. Not necessarily.

I told you. It doesn't make sense.
I'm 18.

Today, though. Today I feel fine.
Maybe it's because my paycheck this month was bigger than I thought it would be.
It's amazing how big of a difference 800 crowns can make.

Ah, the bliss of having a simple mind.

Maybe I'll buy some of that blue soda today.
I've been living on bread and water for the last few days.
Literally.

Maybe I'll lie down right now and take a nap.

A nap sounds great.

------

Ladies and gentlemen........... The time has come.



It's snowing.

Ever eaten boiled cob?
Don't do it. Tastes like... nothing.

It was fish, but tasteless. And it was boiled. So technically I just ate a lump of worthless, non-nutritious, tasteless material... with potatoes.



Today I'm going to work. It's been 5 days since the last time, already.
I keep worrying if they've changed anything.
I probably won't be able to buy lots of presents this christmas. At least not anything super expensive.
Why am I talking about christmas?
Well, the hours I put in this month won't be paid 'til December. True story.

But let's stop being boring.
I found this guy yesterday when I was browsing around.
He's hilarious.
But he's not the most active vlogger.
I'm thinking more subscribers might give him a reason to vlog more.
So.. click that yellow button for me?

He makes me lol. Literally too. Not like when people write "lol" when something's kinda funny, or, when they want a segway between one sentence and the next. He actually made me laugh out loud.

 

I decided to take a walk through the woods today... And fine, I won't take the credit for the idea, since Maria was the one who told me to go.
But I was the one doing the walking,
and I was the one enjoying a little bit of fresh air.

T'was nice.

At one time, I stopped to look at this stream near the bend of the promanade path I was on.. I don't remember why, maybe because it was making lots of noise, and I'm easily distracted.
But when I turned to start walking again, a jogger went by me, almost colliding with my clumsy self. I jumped out of the way, making some kind of startled noise, like: "ouh!"
The jogger didn't seem to care that much, but I couldn't stop myself from laughing out loud.
And so there I was---alone in the woods---laughing.

It's awkward moments like that, that makes life worth living. Am I right?
I know I am.

God, I miss christmas, still.

But enough of that psycho babbling.
Lets move forwards to other kinds of psycho babbling!--->

-------

I was cleaning my room today, you see.
Yes I know--- t'is amazing.
It's been over 6 months since I vacuumed this place. And boy, was it time.

I realized something though.
Even though I am a materialist, I really don't care about my material.
First of all, you know that sound that a vacuum cleaner makes when it takes in the wrong kind of stuff?-- like, an eraser, a hair clip or.. a rock? (I don't know)
I kept hearing that noise, like I was sucking up half of the stuff I own. But the only thing I could think in response was: huh, well, it must not have been something important, since it was lying on the floor.
But I mean, what kind of logic is THAT?
Everything I buy or make has been on the floor at one point or another.

I really shouldn't be allowed to own money.

Just looking around the room I see things that I can't even remember buying.. or even why I would've bought them in the first place.
A necklace that I never wear, because it's horrendous. (wasn't even on sale) A random framed picture of Johnny Depp? (I mean, the man is gorgeous, but his face seems so out of place in this boyband-ruled kingdom/room) An eight ball that barely works. (You ask it something and it gives you three answers that you can read if you manage to get through the blue bubbles) Lots and lots of clothes that I wouldn't even think about wearing. (Who the frigg wears jester panty hoes?)
Everything I buy I regret buying at one point or another.
But when I bought them it seemed so.. obvious.. logical.. necessary.

I would love to understand how the human mind works.
Or rather, how my mind works.
Maybe then I'd have less crap on the floor, so it'd take less time to clean this place up.


Ugh, I'm exhausted, and this still looks like the room of a five-year-old.
Maybe that's unfixable though.
In many ways, I am similar to a five-year-old.

----------

I'm still working on reading Torment, by Lauren Kate. Maybe I haven't mentioned this before, but I'm doing my first joint review next week. I'm hoping I can finish this book by... tuesday or wednesday.
It's not amazing. The book, I mean.
Just a head's up.

Oh GOD, what is worse than seeing your lazy-ass reflection on a laptop screen,
feeling worthless,
deciding to watch a romantic comedy to cheer yourself up
and then realizing you haven't got any?!!




....


Well, homicide, suicide, genocide, necrophilia, pedophilia, misogyny, bestiality, incest, rape, starvation, drowning, homophobia, war, heart attacks, cancer, AIDS, plague, getting shot, infidelity, diarrhea, frostbite, anorexia, bulimia, alcoholism, being possessed, being puked on..... Stuff like that, I suppose.


But really, how bored am I?




I'll tell you.





Very.

Today was a weird day.
I'm sure my boss would like to know why I stormed out of the office three hours before closing time.

.....

*snicker*

.....

I call hundreds of rude people every day, but for some reason, ONE guy with a bad sense of humour almost made me cry today.
It was like I panicked! I couldn't stay there! *laughs*

My mom thinks it's because of my eating habits as of late.
I don't know.
What do you think?

The only remedy I could think of was to walk home (took me an hour) and take a nap.
I'll make up for the lost time tomorrow.

Right now though, I just want a hot bowl of porridge.


(I drooled a little bit there.)

--------

Oh, and here's my hair:

 

 

 

It's been a while!... Or has it? I'm unsure. Time is strange now a days. I can't remember what day it is, or what time I need to do certain things.
The only thing I know is when the bus leaves for work.
*laughs*

You know what I found out yesterday?
My salary is already low, but thanks to taxes, I won't get any money at all =P
That's what you get when you're an idiot and turn 18.
You get surprises.

I hate surprises.

---------------

But enough of that!
Let's talk about yesterday's.. adventures instead. *smiley face here*


So I got this text message from Maria.
It said: Could you pack your things and get over here? Please? I'm all alone in this big house, and I'm afraid. Please save me from the ghosts that haunt this mansion, oh great lord of the.... ghost ass-kicking. (well, not exactly. But for the story's sake, let's say that's correct)
You see, she believes her house is haunted (she's adorable), so naturally... I needed to protect her from the evil spirits of central Sweden.

I took a shower, packed my things, ran over there and behaved like an idiot for a few hours. (and then you say: haha, when DON'T you behave like an idiot?..... I dare you O.O)
And then, of course, we went to bed.

...And fell asleep.


That's an exciting story right? =)

.....


Oh! I forgot the main part! Silly me.

A rapist climbed through her window, and I had to beat him with a chair for about 15 minutes until he finally died and we could call the police. ^.^


I always forget to tell the important bits.




I'm kidding of course.
I slept like a baby.


She's got silk sheets, that girl.


Silk.


Let's pretend I ran over there out of the kindness of my own heart. *wink*

You know, it's weird.

(so is that intro)

Even though you think you're over someone, that doesn't mean you don't care what that person thinks of you.
Am I right?
So when that person doesn't even look at you when you pass them,
you feel like an ugly toad! An ugly forgotten toad.

See, I'm right Maria. I win.

That was a quick summary of today.
Okthanksbye.


------------


Just kidding of course.


------------

Today wasn't half bad. But I kept thinking about pancakes.
Not in a good way either.
I don't know if you're a fan of pancakes, but I'm not.

When I got on the bus, I suddenly thought I smelled pancakes, so I took a quick look around to see if anyone was eating pancakes on the bus. But of course no one was.
That would be breaking the scary rules of what you can and cannot do on a bus.
(One of those things is: stalling the bus driver for too long. Apparently he has the right to scream at you if you can't find your coins........ *cries inside*)

And then at work, whenever I sold something, I got a picture of pancakes in my mind.

Is this voodoo?

In that case it's pretty worthless (directed to whomever's doing it).
None of my bones were broken.

*knocks on wood*


HERE'S A RANDOM PICTURE OF A GOAT

 

 

Alright. My job is done.

I gotta go sleep.

*back snaps*

 

geh.

 

 

Testing, testing.

Either Blogg.se is having some problems, or I'm going insane.
Is my last update completely screwed up for you as well?

This is annoying.

(Edit: I deleted the post. It was an eyesore)

------------------

And now, for something completely different.

..The larch..

.....The... Larch....

If you get that reference, you are already awesome, and you don't need to change yourself anymore. Don't age, don't dye your hair, don't mature... Just, don't!

I am an exception though, because I have finally decided to dye my hair brown on friday. If you have any objections to that, speak now or forever hold your peace.

This morning I got up at 11. Not early, but not super late. Unfortunately, my father gave me his best I-am-very-sick-buhu-voice, and told me to go buy groceries.
So now I'm tired.
And I start work in two hours.

Maybe I should just take a nap and go to work looking like an over worked hooker. Mascara smudged, and all.

Maybe not.



This is me typing.
This is me breathing.
This is me wanting to put on my pajamas and sleep til tomorrow.
This is me... "blonde".




(Essentially, I am a brunett though, aren't I?)