I walked home at.. what was it?.. 1.30 a.m or something. (an hour ago)
And god damn it, I'm still really afraid of the dark.

I avoid walking in shadows too, for some reason.
I keep thinking: If I walk there, something's gonna happen.

I never know what or why though.

When I was little, and I had to walk home to eat dinner during the winter (=REALLY DARK) I would always pretend that there were hundreds of ghosts in the woods that wanted to kill me, but that they couldn't attack me, cuz they were waiting for one of their ghost friends who had to tie his shoe laces.

Yes, that helped me in the past. But now, my imagination is far inferior to what it once was.

When you grow up surrounded by trees, you're supposed to be used to dark forests.. But I'm not. When I walked home today, I thought I saw someone running towards me from the woods, and it freaked me out.
...Turned out it was just the light from a lamp post though.

I remember having to run around in the woods a lot in gym class,
and especially this one time, at 8 in the morning, when this eery fog filled up the town. I ran around looking for red stamps, but in my head, I was running from a serial killer hidden in the fog

It's a miracle I'm able to sleep without my night light on.


Yes.
Fear.
Seems to be the only thing I feel now a days.


That, and pain.
My ribs really hurt for some unexplained reason.
Are you a doctor?
Am I going to die?
I'd like to know.

Thanks.

Today, is Wednesday.. The day I didn't know how to spell until I was 12.

Today, I say, is the first official day of autumn.

Today, I broke my sales record.
I'm still a noob... I'm still not half as good as the others.... But I sold THREE subscriptions, and that is enough for me to want to celebrate!

So let's listen to some party music, and boogie down.

***********




Oh, no... wait.. That's a really sad song Q_Q

I made myself cry.

THIS WASN'T SUPPOSED TO HAPPEN!!!!

*sigh*


Well, in other news, people have forced me to start writing again, I made myself start writing again.
So far I've written.... 1/4 of a page.
Yeah, it's not a novel quite yet. But it's a start.

I realize that I've said the same thing many times before. "I'M GONNA WRITE SOMETHING!!"
And then I give it up before I reach the second chapter.
But if I don't start writing soon, I'll lose that spark forever.

And what is Maxie without her writing? o.o

I was always the writer in school. I sucked at sports, I sucked at oral presentations, I sucked at team work.... But I could write. Therefore I became the writer.
People even went so far as to assume I wanted to be an author.
I guess that's what you do, though? You go full force with the one talent you have.
But somehow, even that sounds impossible to me.

Instead I want to try doing something I'm not good at.
Something I can learn, and master, in time.


I'm an empty vessel.
Kind of like a foot soldier.

... Except I've never fired a gun. And the army totally blew me off. (true story)


Tomorrow I will try my best to break the record again.
I will learn this one thing that I originally thought I'd never be able to do.


I will sell news paper subscriptions.

~~~~~~

I know I said "to be continued" in the last post, but I really don't understand why I did that o.o
I guess I wasn't thinking clearly, since I'd called 100 people in three hours.
But I guess I could tell you the secrets of the telemarketing world.

(oooooooh, this is exciting)

First of all, if you pick up the phone and some salesperson says something suddenly and then clears their throat and says: hello!
... know that that HAS to happen, otherwise the person you're talking to is an anti social weirdo that doesn't talk to her/his co-workers.
Just sayin'.

But really, there's no reason to be rude. We're not trying to bullshit you or trick you,
our job is to sell you our product. We might use big words to make it sound a bit more awesome than it is, but we're not allowed to lie, we're not allowed to be rude and we're not allowed to go against your wishes.

This man told me once: Get a real job.

This is the answer that I was not able to give him: This is a real job. I work just as hard as anyone else, and to top it off I get a$$holes like you calling me names.
I'm not allowed show unhappiness.
But I did give you the finger.

Now, I work from 4 to 9.
It's not ideal.
I don't get to live life.
I wake up, I get ready, I work, I come home.. it's late... I sleep.
I eat nothing but sandwiches for dinner, unless I wait til I get home at around 9.30. (Not gonna happen)

If I don't sell anything, I don't get paid.
Which basically means... I can work everyday for a week and not get a single dime for it.

Yes.
My job sucks.

But when you're 18 and living in this modern world.. You're lucky if you can even say you have a job.


~~~~~~ I got off track again.


Today, 7 of the 100 people I called were dead. That's a lot actually.
I think I might be cursed.
Or maybe I'm killing them in some way?....

Either way, it's not fun to hear. And there's never a good response for it.
I try saying: oh my god, I'm so sorry. But somehow, I still feel like an ass.

Oh, and today sucked.

Anyone noticed that?
The suckage?
No?


~~~~~~

Mail from the local movie theater:

"Resident Evil: Afterlife" won't be premiering in this town.
But if it will, it will be in 3D.

Excuse my anger, but wtf does that even mean?

Sorry, Maxie, you won't be alive tomorrow, for sure, but here are a bunch of fun stuff that's gonna happen tomorrow, which I'm telling you about even though I know that you won't be able to see any of it, just to piss you off and give you that little extra fake hope... You're welcome.


.... For the second time in my life, I declare war against the theater

 

Today I woke up and put on... (in?) my lenses. Why? No reason. I just felt like looking like that jester girl from Batman.

Harlequin! That's her name.

The question is though, what should I do now?
If anyone is wondering, I am sick, still. But not enough to actually keep me inside anymore. No, now everything else is keeping me inside.

But let me tell you what I've been up to.

On thursday I got up and decided it was time to get back to work. So I went in, made some calls, sold two subscriptions, and won a movie ticket.
Then I went home and watered the plants.
This made me think: People doubt I can take care of myself?

But then I ate noodles for dinner and went back to thinking: M'yes, I can't blame them.

On friday I worked some more, and went home to watch Kenshin, alone.
That is essentially what I've been up to anyway. Watching Kenshin.

--Hitokiri wa shosen shinu made hitokiri--

I've watched half of the show in half a week.
Once I got to episode 31, I was so into it I sat down on the floor so that I could be closer to the TV. I don't know how that changes the experience, but in my head it sounded like a good idea.
I cried my eyes out.
Really, the Legend of Kyoto part of the Kenshin story is the only thing in the world that makes me cry everytime I see it.

I had forgotten how much I love Kenshin.
I mean, I always tell people how awesome Kenshin is, but I think I forgot exactly HOW awesome it is, and that, if anything, is a sin. So please forgive me Kenshin sama.
When I'm done watching the show, I'll watch the OVA's again...... Oh, wait. I change my mind. The OVA's also make me cry every single time. And they're also my absolute favourite part of the Kenshin story...
I'll have to bring tissues.

--------
*breathes*
--------

I told you I won a movie ticket right?

Well, it just so happens that my little town is finally getting 3D. (don't laugh)
So, I've decided I will use this ticket of mine to see Resident Evil: Afterlife 3D.

If anyone wants to go with me, that'd be great =3


NOW!
Time to... watch some more Kenshin!

oro~

Oh god.
I can't even eat today, because my stomach hates me.

*cough*

They told me I'd have to start calling people today,
so that I'd learn as fast as possible.
I don't see how that's gonna work.
But I'll try my best.

---------------------

And WeReadBooks keeps making videos!
Seriously. We're on a roll here.

*cough*

 

I'm not good with people.
I might have lied today and said I was...
But really, I had to glue my eyes to that interviewer, and my brain kept screaming: DANGER!! DANGER!! AWKWARD!!

Not that it didn't go well. I.. think it did.
But it seems it didn't matter what I said. He still would've hired me.
Everyone gets a job there.

sigh...

You might say: isn't that a good thing?
And I guess you're right.
But I don't feel too good.

Maybe it's because I'm actually sick. I almost fainted on the way home.

Ma' head hurts


I don't like this whole.. being an adult thing.
I think I'll go back to being a child again, thank you.

*crawls into mama's lap*

meow.


No, but yeah.. Training starts tomorrow.

Tonight I'm going away to see Inception AGAIN!

You need to see it at least 2 times!!!!... or so I've heard.

I'll tell you if I come to any new conclusions later. *laughs*

---------------

I'll tell you something exciting that happened to me today. I got my circle lenses. *does a little dance*

I also got invited to a job interview.... *faints*
It's not for a super fancy job, but who are we kidding? I'm not a fancy person. (At least not yet *wink*)
If I get it, I'll buy you all fake cookies!

What kind of a job is it, Maxie?~

I'll tell you, kind reader. =D

It's a telemarketing job.

Yes. Yes. Please don't throw rocks at me. I have children...
Maybe not. But I DO have a family *puppy dog eyes*

Anyway, let's hope I don't faint tomorrow. For this will be my first job interview ever.


My circle lenses are taking a bath right now =3
I'll show 'em to you later.

*hugs*

GAH!

---------

STRAIGHT TO THE POINT!

I cut my bangs two days ago.
Actually, that's not that big of a deal. Because I usually cut my own bangs, since I'm so.. poor creative and stuff.
But since my brain functions in a really weird way, things like cutting my own hair can be just like gambling.

Why, you ask?

Well, let's take something that happened to me years back as an example.

Now, when I say years back, I really mean.. a long time ago. I was a tap dancer back then.
I'm thinking it was in fifth grade. Maybe.
It was late at night, and I wanted to test cutting my own hair. So I did. (first mistake)
But of course, I screwed it up. My bangs looked weird and had awkward edges where no edges should be. Now, if I was talking about any other person, this story would've ended with her using a hair clip to hide the bangs until a professional could fix it.
But I'm talking about me.
So what my brain told me was: oh.. it looks weird.. you should... uhm.. CUT IT ALL OFF!

I'm not kidding. I'm not making the story worse than it was, to make it more retarded, and therefore more interesting. I really took the scissors and cut of my bangs.. c.o.m.p.l.e.t.e.l.y.

And then I started crying.


So back to what I was talking about to begin with.
I had already cut some side swept bangs, like I usually do.. And then my brain took over and said: don't you wanna cut it some  more?... and then some more..? and why not.. some more? *evil smirk*
(yes. my brain smirks)

So, after a while, I was standing there in the bathroom, with blunt bangs like frickin Selena Gomez, suddenly remembering the fact that I hate blunt bangs. Especially on me.

And then I started crying.


My mom says I look "kind".

*sob*


Yet another story of a girl and her hair.

I feel lazy today.

Spent the day with my parents, downtown. We didn't go on any rides, but we did ... "have some coffee", right in the middle of all the chaos.
All I could hear people talking about was "N.E.R.D cancelled the show" this, and "I got into uni" that...
Sigh.
Perhaps you didn't know?
I didn't get in.
I didn't...

So, of course I was delighted when an ex class mate came up to me to tell me that she'd gotten into law school! =D
No, I'm not being a sarcastic a-hole. I was actually really happy for her.

.... Maybe I was a little bit jealous.. But that's a whole other thing....

Oh, and I don't give a crap about N.E.R.D. Didn't even know they still existed. *smile*

Other than that, I just want to say to the people who kept staring at me today:
There is nothing wrong with holding your father's hand when you're 18.
*laughs*
Maybe it's a bit weird. But I like weird.
I saw this little girl walking down the street, holding her dad's hand in a firm grip.. And I thought: "You go girl" for no reason what so ever.

Oh, people might have been staring because of my red, super hot, suspenders too.
I know. I'm awesome.
I bought them over three years ago, right after I'd seen Kurosagi, for the first time.
I wanted to look like Yamapi, but I didn't. I still don't
Doesn't change the fact that I'm awesome though.

Ok, enough of this.
I told you I was feeling lazy.
Time for TV and sleep.

Because I really.. just don't know.

Hola.

Today I went to the carnival downtown.
Did a lot of spinning, did a lot of ... hiding under a bridge...
Yeah, the weather wasn't great.

But other than that, I had a pretty great time.

Unfortunately, I wasn't able to go to the annual music festival, called Yran, this year. I usually don't go anyway, but this year it was about money, and other years it's most often about me not liking the music.
Why don't you just get a job? You ask. (douche)

Well, at the moment, I don't even have a finished resume.
I'm working on it though.
The hard part is the personal letter, since it's supposed to be different depending on where you want to go. And.. I haven't really decided that yet.

But, back to what I was talking about:
Carnival!

I had two friends with me, and one of them is afraid of carnival rides...
.... So instead of being nice and saying: ok, that's fine,
we let her hold our bags as we tried out one of the less scary rides.
Cuz that's how we roll. Evil. (And sissy)

--------------

I ordered my circle lenses yesterday, so I'll probably get them in two or three weeks.
THAT'S A REALLY LONG TIME!

Yes, I know.
But I ordered them from Malaysia, so it makes sense.

Here's a preview:

 

 

The Dolly Eye Violet obviously doesn't look natural. I was planning on buying the more natural looking ones, either from the Angel- or Nudy series. But then I heard that the blue from my eyes could possibly shine through (they're originally made for asians, after all... *bitter*) so I thought I should get the smaller, stronger ones. (Hence: the Dolly Eye Violets)

Later, I heard that the Nudy series was perfect for caucasians though. So now I'm just pissed =P

But I shouldn't be. Because really, purple eyes just don't look natural. Period.

 

 

 

The CK 105 lenses are really popular. For asian women, the effect is: bigger, cuter and more dolly-like. For me I think it will be a little bit different, seeing as my eyes are blue. In the middle you will see a streak of blue, and then the rest will be black. The contrast is obviously more obvious. But I think it'll look great.

What I'm a little bit worried about though, is whether or not you will see the blue at all! *laughs*
Because my pupils are ALWAYS huge. I really hope that won't affect the look too much.

I don't want black, serial killer eyes. =P

 

Anyway, this post was very girly. I think.

Cars!

 

There, now it's unisex.

 

Although, I think more guys should try out the circle lenses. *throwing out some hints*

Well, it's almost 9 pm folks,
which means, that if my project is going to have any value at all.. It's time for me to go sleep.

But first! Let me tell you how many times I almost fell asleep, but didn't.


Probably about 100 times.


I once read this book.. Oh no wait.. My sister once read this book (which is amazing in itself) about a geisha who had to work every single night of her life.
She was so tired sometimes, that she automatically fell asleep. No one noticed anything though.
Why? Because she kept her position (standing) and never actually closed her eyes.

I was very close to experiencing something similar today.

30 hours I've been awake....
I'm dumb.


.....
No. I'm not dumb.
Not yet anyway.
We'll see how this turns out in the morning.



Remember folks: drastic measures is always the right answer.


Goodnight.


*too tired... to insert.... picture....of ... any.... kind.......*

Oh, and I made american pancakes yesterday.

... At least I think it was yesterday. It's all kinda hazy.

They were really good though.
I've made amcakes (just made that up. that's how super awesome I am) three times before,
but I think I'm getting better.
Because this time, they were actually edible.

It might be because I changed recipes though.

Make em like this:




The last time I made american pancakes, I made them out of a more genuine recipe, which meant adding lots and lots of flour, sugar and salt.
Made my tummy angry =(

So what have we learned today?
Don't do what americans tell you to do. Even when it's about their food.

*cheers*



jk.


Now I shall watch Dexter, until it's late enough for me to go downtown and talk to the people at the bank.
I need me some .. new stuff.. cuz I'm an adult and shiz.
Bet you didn't know that.
Yeah...


Oh god.
The weirdness is starting.
I need sleep.

Well, yesterday was a weird day.
I literally sat all day switching headers, until I almost passed out.
And I don't know what's worse:
1) Passing out after working on your blog for almost 12 hours, or 2) Waking up the next day and hating the header once again.
*frustrated*

I don't know what's wrong with me. I really don't.

Anyway. On to more important things!!



I got a package in the mail today from a dear friend =3 It was supposed to be a graduation present, I think. But seeing as I got it in July, I'm just gonna call it The Awesome Package of Awesomeness. (and people say I have a small vocabulary... humpfh)
In the package was:

-A bracelet (at least I think so)
-A necklace (of peace)
-A Simpson's comic (that I can't bring myself to open T_T)
-A calendar (of peace AND love)
-A book
-Two baseball caps (both awesome)
-A blue teddy bear named Smurf (currently resting under my sheets)
-A note

I can't even begin to explain how happy I was when I got it,
even though I had to sign for it in my pyjama shorts.
The delivery man was kind enough to not mention my lack of clothing and f-ed up hair.
Thank you kind delivery man.
I could sense the awkwardness though.
I'm sure he could too. He kept looking at everything else around us.


.....Do I take that as an insult? Or do I just leave it be?......
I'm going with number two.


Thank you so much baseball star.

I won't ever forget this.

I've been struggling with insomnia for a while now,
but yesterday, I finally got some sleep.

This is what happened yesterday:

I woke up around nine, after sleeping for only five hours or so.
It's not like I went to bed super late. It just literally took me four hours to fall asleep.
Moving on.

Me and a friend took our bikes and went to the poolhouse to have some silly childish fun.
And we definitely got some.
It's been so long since I've splashed around in a pool, I think I actually shrunk and lost 10 years or so in that water. I couldn't stop laughing, and the pool guards kept looking at us like we were high and obnoxious and therefore had to be removed...
So we ran to the water slides before they could catch us.
Now, sure, we got some bruises from those slides. I'm pretty sure I banged up my friend pretty bad when I fell off of our ring and onto her head while still plummeting downwards. Some kids saw my boobs, and then I almost drowned. But who cares? It was fun.

The weather wasn't great. So we couldn't go outside.
But now that I think about it, that was probably a good thing. Everytime we went outside to check the temperature, 10 or so old guys kept zooming in on our derriers.

One thing I didn't miss about the whole.. pool experience, was the public showers.
I had completely forgotten how awkward that can be.
Naked people everywhere.
And somewhere in the middle of that, a mother came in with her 12(or so)-year-old son.
I get why small boys are allowed into the "girls' shower room", but teenagers? No.
I packed up my stuff and ran. That mother deserves some jail time.

I'm gonna skip the rest of the day, cuz it just wasn't as interesting.
But by the time I'd brushed my teeth and put on some kind of nightie, I was out.


And today I saw Kick-Ass for the first time.
Hell yeah.

My dad came into my room as I was stubbornly trying to fall asleep again after lunch. He asked me if I was willing to make a cake for my mom's birthday (tomorrow), and I said.. yes. On one condition. I had to come with him to buy the groceries.

So we headed out, father and daughter, on our bikes, passing norwegians that were returning home on the way. Dad looked pleased.
Not because he had something against them, per se. But because he had something against them blocking the lines at the supermarket.

Somewhere along the way I looked down at my denim mini short shorts and see-through pantyhosed legs and then down at my conversed feet pedaling away slowly and crookedly, and I thought to myself: Why do I have to be the person that dresses up to go to the store with my dad? Why can't I be the person that dresses up to go out with my friends, and//or boyfriend?
But seeing the weird contrast between my black painted nails and my reddened pale skin, I decided I'm not the emo type of person to moan about how disappointing life turned out to be like this summer.

When we got there, the first thing I saw was donuts. But weirdly, my stomach said: No. I don't even feel like pretending those would taste good.
Maybe because I actually got off my ass and ran 2km today. (I was so nauseous afterwards, I collapsed in the shower. Much like last summer) Or maybe because I don't react too good to sweets now a days.
It's kinda like how a vampire views food. It may look good, but it wouldn't do much for me.

But I DID see a bottle of that weird blue soda that stores stopped selling ages ago, because of the alleged health risk.
I looked up at my father with puppy dog eyes, pleading him to please buy it for me.
He said: Isn't Pepsi good enough?
I said: But dad... It's blue.


I finally got what I wanted, plus a girly magazine, because my father seems to feel sorry for me.
It was about getting the perfect summer body, hot guys and other clichéd girl topics.. oh, and I got bronze powder for free.
But I'm pretty sure you have to have at least some sort of tan to be able to pull that look off.
I kind of miss the days when Ultimate Spiderman was the obvious choice on the magazine rack.
But then again, I've already got the entire series on my computer.
It's not like I've stopped being a nerd or a kid.. or both. I'm just more efficient now.

On the way home, though, the nice trip turned into a nightmare.

I decided we were going to take a short-cut through the woods, and daddy agreed, since the trees would protect us from the rain.
But what we didn't expect was a huge black swarm of flies attacking us head-on.
The cluster of yuck was so compact I had to cover my mouth and nose to keep from inhaling them, which in turn stopped my breathing.
By the time we came out of that hell, our bodies were covered in bold insects.
I'd heard of weird stalkers, flashers, robbers, freaky animals.. all taking up residence among trees.. But never had I been so afraid of the woods before.

I really do hate insects.

I'm creative at times... I think.
At least I'm known for having a bastardly good eye for details, which pretty much only comes in handy when figuring out how books or movies are going to end. Or just anything regarding books and//or movies. (A narrow skill, I agree)
Like, for example:

1. A brother of a friend showed this picture of his flatscreen TV, to show how awesome it was (obviously a douche?). On the screen, though, was a picture of a helicopter above a green forest.
I asked: oh, are you watching Tropic Thunder?
He asked: how the f*** did you know that?
I said, matter-of-factly: I recognized that shade of green.

2. When watching Remember Me, a movie with Robert Pattinson that ends quite strangely.. I figured out the exact ending 10 minutes before it happened, just because they were watching American Pie in the theatre. (if you haven't seen the movie though, this example makes no sense)

Anyway, I got off topic.. As per usual.

Today I stepped out of my house and felt a breeze on my face.
It was nice.
A bit brief though.

Because the sun came down and banished the wind, scorching my feet in the process.
Doesn't change the fact that today was a good day though.
I was in such a good mood, I figured I could walk home.
After about 6 of those 8 km, my hips started breaking down. This was the moment when I realised I was experiencing the so called Old man boo boo. I couldn't walk without stopping every five minutes for damage control.
I refused to stop though... The 60 norwegian and spanish young boys rushing towards me (not really towards me, but towards the bus stop behind me.. scary either way) was my motivation. I needed to get away! Otherwise people would see me limping.
I pushed on.

That is why I couldn't move for about 5 minutes when I came home.

Oh, and btw. I'm 18. Bet you thought I was 78. Nice to meet you.
I need my beauty sleep now.

Deuces.