Wow. No one wants to read this.

I wrote an email to a teacher I had in high school. Since I never visited her on christmas, or even sent a card saying: "Hello! I'm not dead. Hopefully, neither are you. Merry Christmas!" I thought I should AT LEAST send her an email, explaining why she might have seen my around town, even though I'm supposed to be in another city, studying right now.

This teacher meant so much to me in high school. Everyone in my class loved her, and you could just feel and see that she loved us back. She was like family.

I remember feeling lost and sad in my third year, because of stress and general confusion. I had this handler who I was supposed to talk to and get help from, but instead I went to this wonderful teacher, because she was the only one I actually trusted...
Plus, my handler was a total moron.

When I wrote this email, I expected to get an answer along the lines of: Oh! It's so nice to hear from you! I'm fine. Just got back from Greece. Healthy. Wonderful. Woopie!
But, instead she told me that she'd been robbed last year, and lost all her valuables. She told me she felt like moving out of her house, because it felt foreign and empty now.
My heart sank.

As I'm writing this I'm realizing how much I miss High school. I didn't love all aspects of it, especially not some of the people who went there with me. But I did love the feeling of being connected to something. I loved seeing my friends everyday, even though we were all tired and afraid of failing some upcoming test.
I loved the food!
God, the food was really good.

Lunch ladies, I took you for granted.
I'm sorry.
Your salad buffets made my mouth water.

Anyway, when my teacher told me she was sad, I thought about how you never think about your teachers as human beings. Not really. You think of them as parent-like entities. People who exist so that you can go forward in life. Her story should have shattered that image. And yet, I still feel like running to her and crying about my life.

This makes me think that all relationships end after high school, simply because they must.

My psychology teacher once told my class that once we left high school we wouldn't be friends anymore. We wouldn't have anything in common.
Back then, we scoffed.
But now.... It's all very obvious.

Sure, I'm still friends with all of them. But when we talk... We talk memories.

I feel like I'm stuck in the twilight zone.


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